Today–October 11, 2015–365 days of marriage to the love of my life
Anytime we hear the phrase “The First Year of Marriage” there are a million opinions that always seem to follow… “The first year of marriage is the hardest”, “If you can survive the first year of marriage, you can make it through anything”, “Oh, the first year of marriage is all just a big honeymoon phase”, and then you even get the exact opposite “The first year of marriage is the best”.
So, what does this variety of statements tell me–that we are all unique and each marriage is different.
I’ve always pictured marriage as this story-book love story where Mr. Right comes in and sweeps the girl off her feet; they get married, and everything is absolutely perfect, all lovey-dovey, nothing but sunshine and smiles… Well let me tell you, that is not how marriage is…but what marriage is, is something so much more.
Mark 10: 7-9 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefor what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
This first year of marriage taught me a lot, and by that a mean A WHOLE L-O-T. And you know what, I still have a lot to learn. But I can’t think of anyone else I would rather learn with, grow with, and change with than my husband. He is truly one of my biggest blessings, and I can see the evidence of how God perfectly molded us and our relationship and leaded us down the paths to each other.
I could talk for hours and hours about this first year of marriage, but I think I should probably just leave you with a few of my favorite take-a-ways..
Communication // Communication is absolute KEY. It is crucial to communicate with your spouse; communication that is both effective & timely. Instead of putting things off and letting them fester inside, talk about the issue immediately. Get it off your chest–share it with your spouse–and come up with a solution to the issue. && also, HOW we communicate is of utmost importance! Leave the accusations out and be slow to anger and not easily offended. Be open–Be honest–Be sincere. But also be loving, and open to listen.
Think of the blessings in your life & multiply them over and over again // Take a second and look around at your life. You are blessed..so, so very blessed. When I got married, I didn’t just gain a husband. I gained so much more–I gained a sister, a brother, and a mother & father who love The Lord unlike anything else. I gained grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, all who love me & love us more than I could ever imagine. I gained a support system I can go to at anytime of the day, people who care about me unconditionally, and people who shower us with love and prayer each and every day.
It’s not 50:50–it’s 100:100 // A marriage isn’t about a wife giving 50% and a husband giving the other 50%. Marriage is about each person giving ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. I love this quote about marriage from Lara Casey “It is often said that a great marriage takes work. This is true, but the work of marriage is the work of surrendering–taking giant leaps of faith and working hard everyday to love on purpose. It’s the kind of work that multiplies love and hope in others too. God calls us to love deeply and serve each other as He served us–giving our lives for the sake of another.”
All Attention on You Two // Dial out of the world, & dial into each other. Get off of Instagram, Facebook, PInterest, Twitter, and the millions of other social networks. Get your head out of the game on the tv. Hang up the phone conversation, and dial into your spouse. Have meaningful conversation, ask questions about their day. Notice them. Appreciate them. And love them.
Have FUN // Marriage is a blessing and is something to enjoy. Do things together that you both love. Smile–a lot. Laugh. Laugh often. And laugh loudly! Be silly with each other. Do the little things–many times those little things end up meaning the most and making the biggest impression.
Here’s to one year of marriage and many, many more to come!
Love Always — LC